Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | November 24, 2014

Is Anger Controlling Your Life? Take Charge with EFT


Do you get angry? Anger is a completely normal human emotion that everyone will experience in their lives, right from being tiny children. If your parents are being unfair, your doctor’s bedside manner is something to be desired or your promotion was given to the office junior instead of you, then who can blame you for feeling irritated? In its proper place, anger is a healthy outlet for negative emotion. Anger that is constantly suppressed may turn inward and cause depression or even physical illnesses like high blood pressure or stress related headaches. If you feel that you’re very frequently or always angry and you feel irritation or rage more than any other emotion you may have an anger management problem.

Signs and Symptoms of an Anger Problem

Some signs that you are overly angry are:

  • Feeling constantly anxious
  • Feeling constantly irritated or even enraged by other people
  • Feeling as if you cannot control your angry thoughts
  • Feeling overwhelmed by your circumstances
  • Thinking about self-harming
  • Thinking about harming others
  • Very frequent stress related headaches
  • Heart palpitations and tight feelings in your chest.

A prolonged state of anger and anxiety can have a devastating impact on your health and can put you at risk of memory loss, stroke and heart attacks. It may interfere with your ability to sleep at night. Having an anger problem can also damage your relationship with your partner and children and could spoil your life at work.

Unresolved Life Issues

Anger issues arise for a variety of reasons. It can occur due to an inflammatory illness (inflammation can cause anxiety) or it can manifest after a head trauma or brain bleed. Sometimes it develops for psychological reasons like childhood bullying or being raised by very critical parents. Issues that affect self-esteem can have long term consequences on how the person views themselves. Some people put others down or act angry to cover up feelings of self-loathing or to take back power they feel they have lost. Sometimes repeated hurts and disappointments are the cause.

If your relationships are already strained it may be time to take action to heal your life and your interactions with others. You can control your anger rather than letting it control you.

How Emotional Freedom Technique Can Help You

Emotional Freedom Technique is one of the ways you can help yourself. Emotional Freedom Technique is a form of acupressure that is based on meridian energy points used in acupuncture for more than five thousand years. However, instead of using fine needles, acupressure uses a less invasive external pressure. Acupressure is a popular way of preventing motion sickness, with some pharmacies and online stores selling acupressure wrist bands to bring relief to travelers. Acupressure can also be used to address emotional problems such as depression, fear of public speaking and anger. Tapping on the specific meridian sites on the head and chest channels energy into them to clear ‘emotional blocks’. Positive affirmations are used in conjunction with the tapping to raise your self – worth and balance your mind. It is known that the mind and the body are connected – for instance, people with depression can have lower immune systems – so saying affirmations not only enhances the action of the acupressure but as a longer term intervention it can help you change the way you think.

What the Science Says

If you’re not convinced that some tapping exercises could change your life, just take a look at what is in the scientific literature.

The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease reported that emotional freedom techniques reduced cortisol (stress hormone) levels and eased anxiety and psychological distress. These decreases in distress were much more significant when compared with a group of people who had psychotherapy.

In a separate study in Greece, EFT was trialled on people with stress and tension type headache and was found to increase quality of life by reducing the number of headaches they had as well as lessening their severity.

Staffordshire University in the UK studied the use of EFT for people in high pressure environments and gave EFT training to 50 students. All 50 students achieved better marks in their tests and were notably calmer than students who hadn’t done EFT. This has led to some doctors calling for it to be introduced into the UK healthcare system as a treatment for psychological problems like anger, depression and anxiety.

EFT can be self-administered, it’s easy to learn and it doesn’t have the side-effects that anti-anxiety pills can have so if anger is making your life a misery, why not give it a try?

Sources:

Rosenkrantz MA et al, A comparison of mindfulness-based stress reduction and an active control in modulation of neurogenic inflammation, Brain Behav Immun. 2013 Jan;27(1):174-84, accessed November 20, 2014, doi: 10.1016/j.bbi.2012.10.013 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23092711

Bougea AM et al, Effect of the emotional freedom technique on perceived stress, quality of life, and cortisol salivary levels in tension-type headache sufferers: a randomized controlled trial, Explore (NY). 2013 Mar-Apr;9(2):91-9, accessed November 20, 2014, doi: 10.1016/j.explore.2012.12.005, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23452711

Church D et al, The effect of emotional freedom techniques on stress biochemistry: a randomized controlled trial, J Nerv Ment Dis. 2012 Oct;200(10):891-6, accessed November 20, 2014, doi: 10.1097/NMD.0b013e31826b9fc1, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22986277

Emma Innes, Alternative Tapping Therapy Could be Used by NHS to Treat Anxiety and Depression, The Daily Mail, 16 January 2014, accessed November 22, 2014, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2540469/Alternative-tapping-therapy-favoured-Lily-Allen-used-NHS-treat-anxiety-depression.html

An Introduction to Emotional Freedom Technique, The Dr. Oz Show, accessed November 22, 2014, http://www.doctoroz.com/article/introduction-emotional-freedom-technique

Anger Symptoms, Causes and Effects, Psych Guides, accessed November 22, 2014, http://www.psychguides.com/guides/anger-symptoms-causes-and-effects/

Controlling Anger Before it Controls You, American Psychological Association, accessed November 22, 2014, http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx

Emotional Freedom Techniques, EFT Edmonton’s Blog, accessed November 22, 2014, https://eftedmonton.wordpress.com/

This is a freelance article from Gemma Bays.

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | November 2, 2014

All purpose EFT Tapping Script


  • Even though I have this specific problem or challenge, ________________________ , I accept myself.
  • Even though I may or may not be totally consciously aware of what is behind this specific problem, I accept myself.+
  • Even though there may be one, two or many conscious or subconscious reasons for having or keeping this problem, I accept myself.**
  • Even though I may be holding this problem in some part of my body, I accept myself.+
  • Even though there may be several parts to this specific problem, I accept myself.**

+ If known, add transcript sentences as appropriate.
**Include as many known reasons or parts as possible using separate transcript sentences.

  • Tap through each of the above sentences using the Karate chop point or the sore point, and repeat the sentence three times.
    Then tap through the series of short-cut EFT points-
    Top of the head,
    between the eyebrows,
    sides of the eyes,
    under the eyes,
    under the nose,
    under the lips,
    under the arms, at least twice. (Typically, we tap each point as we go through the series about 7 or 8 times.)

Check out EFT in a nutshell if you need a refresher on EFT.http://wp.me/pFoLU-cR

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | June 15, 2014

Dealing with Multiple Health Issues


A dear ffriend has recently been experiencing several minor but annoying health concerns.  Her doctor has recently informed her that she has osteoporosis in her hip and spine.  She also has early osteoarthritis.  She suffers from acid reflux and gallbladder polyps.  Naturally, she has worries about all of these concerns, some more than others.

Besides following her doctor’s advice, I have suggested the following EFT affirmations.

  • Even though I have acid reflux, I accept myself.
  • Even though I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis, I accept myself.
  • Even though I am worried about my softening bones, I accept myself.
  • Even though I haven’t exercised as much as I should have to prevent osteoporosis, I accept myself.
  • Even though I have beginning osteoarthritis, I accept myself.
  • Even though I am getting older and my body seems to be falling apart, I accept myself. I fogive my body for showing the signs of age.
  • Even though I have gallbladder polyps and I am not sure how this affects me, I accept myself.

I gave her this short list to go over and practice on a daily basis and we shall see how it goes.  So far she has reported that going through the process has made her feel more relaxed and less worried, so I think its already shown benefits.

 

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | January 25, 2014

EFT continues to help – A testimonial


If you are a regular reader of my blog or web site you will recognize the name Arum. She has been a client of mine since the early days of the EFT forum and we continue to be in touch. The following is excerpted from an email she recently sent me. She brings out some important points. One is that sometimes when our pains go away, we don’t necessarily notice right away. Gary Craig calls this the ‘apex effect. With EFT, it feels like we didn’t have the problem in the first place. Read Arum’s email here:

    Hi Mildred,
    While looking over some of my old emails, there was a lot of comments regarding the burning issue I had and my hip problem. The change has  been phenomenal. Whereas before the burning sensation almost drove me insane, this morning I noticed it wasn’t there at all. It doesn’t seem to be in my body to where it can even be noticed. Don’t you think that’s odd? And as for my hip, my goodness girl it seems like a miracle. I can sleep on my right side, and this morning when my husband put his arm across me, it didn’t hurt at all. So many of the aches and pains I had are just gone.
    Do you know what I think? When we first start tapping it’s like cleaning out a closet, it gets clean gradually. One gets their mind on something else, and all at once they look up and the closet is clean. My body seemed to heal while I wasn’t noticing.
    EFT continues to amaze me. Yet there is no one to share my amazement with. When I look back to where I was a few years ago, I’m so grateful. Although there are so many negative things we could focus on, if we just focus on the good things, our life will be full. Thank you for helping me get here. 🙂 Hugs and a smile, Arum
Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | December 31, 2013

2013 in review


The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,000 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 50 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | December 17, 2013

-How Can I Learn EFT? Updated


Much has changed in EFT since I last answered this question. Gary Craig, Founder of EFT, has given the term EFT to the public domain and this means that there are all kinds of EFT out there without any standardization.  Therefore Gary Craig, in response to this situation has come up with two terms, “Gary’s Official EFT(c)” and “Official EFT(c)”. These represent what Gary Craig means when he discusses EFT. You can learn about this in more  depth by clicking on the following link, to go to the Official EFT Tutorial.  http://www.emofree.com/EFT/?aft=908

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | October 10, 2013

Police integrity not always appreciated within the force


In Edmonton where I live, there have been several publicized incidents involving police officers who have gone beyond their duty as arresting officers to mete out beatings, and worse, in their own brand of justice.

No one can argue that a police officers’ job is easy.   On a daily basis, policemen deal with the worst type of people in society: pedophiles, drug dealers, thieves, pimps, murderers and sociopaths of every stripe.

Police officers see the worst of what society has to offer, and it must be difficult under these circumstances not to become jaded, cynical, and even traumatized, by the daily human trail of filth that an officer encounters.

It must be discouraging to arrest a drug dealer or a pimp, only to find them out on bail or released after a laughably short sentence. However, it is not my purpose here to address the systemic faults in the Alberta justice system.

My concern today is with a particular police officer, Derek Huff, who tried within his department to take a stand, showing integrity against a code of silence that law enforcement officers follow.   You can read about what  Derek Huff did by googling his name, “Derek Huff” and “police brutality”. Or try this link:  http://www.edmontonjournal.com/news/Brutality+allegation+shows+police+transparency+always+simple/9004613/story.html

I would like to address this article to Derek Huff , who feeling betrayed by his coworkers is now suffering PTSD because of the treatment he received in response to his attempt to do the right thing, not the easy thing.

Derek, take a deep breath and notice how you feel in your body.  Are you tense? Do you have pain in your neck or shoulders? Just notice this and start by tapping the side of your hand and saying each sentence below three times. Then tap through the acupressure points described in EFT in a nutshell.

  • Even though my dream job fell to tatters, I accept myself.
  • Even though  I and my partner saw three fellow police officers punching and kicking a drug dealer in a planned beating and we wanted to do the right thing, and were unsuccessful, I accept myself.
  • Even though I, Derek, took these allegations to my superior officers, I accept myself.
  • Even though my complaints went nowhere, I accept myself.
  • Even though I was branded a rat, I accept myself.
  • Even though I feel betrayed by my coworkers and my supervisors, I accept myself.
  • Even though I felt threatened and bullied for reporting wrongdoing, I accept myself.
  • Even though didn’t know what to do after the incident, I accept myself.
  • Even though my partner and I were in a no-win situation, I accept myself.
  • Even though I am struggling with depression because of the bullying and intimidation I’ve gone through, I accept myself.
  • Even though I had to go on stress leave, and eventually quit my job, I accept myself.
  • Even though it may be that the problem I brought forward is even bigger that I anticipated, I accept myself.

If you are not Derek, please consider doing some surrogate EFT for him – I’m sure he could use the help.  We, the public, need to show our support for courageous men and women who stand up against injustice even at great personal cost.  Derek Huff, you have my appreciation and admiration.

Now take another deep breath and see how you feel.  If you were tapping the points , you may feel a little lighter in your body.  Maybe your breath is a little fuller or easier. This is how EFT works and how it can help you.

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | October 4, 2013

Book Review of “When Heaven Comes…into the Classroom”


This is a video review of a book by my friend Julia Kopala, a former teacher and practicing Reiki Master. Julia wrote a book about her experiences bringing complementary health to the classroom. Julia was a pioneer in bringing together Eastern and Western complementary therapies to an educational setting. This book is aimed at parents, educators, counselors and anyone interested in integrating the wisdom of complementary therapies into the classroom.

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | May 30, 2013

Making Marriage Work Part 2: Avoid Criticism


The  book, “The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work”, lists four  indicators that a marriage is in trouble, and these are called in the book, “the four horseman of the apocalypse”, or just “the four horsemen” for short. These four sign posts or horsemen are  criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Today, I will discuss the first of these, criticism.

The authors differentiate between complaint and criticism. Complaint, they say, addresses the action of the person that upsets you, while criticism says something global about the other person’s character or personality. Blame and character assassination are forms of criticism. If you have any questions about the difference between complaint and criticism, I highly recommend you read the book wherein numerous examples are described (p.28). In the meantime, here are some sentences that my clients with complaints about their spouses have found helpful.

  • Even though my spouse is completely different than I am and doesn’t do things the way I would do them, I accept myself.
  • Even though it really bugs me when my spouse does/does not _________________  , I accept myself. (Fill in the blank  as often as necessary.)
  • Even though I was initially attracted to my spouse because he or she was so different than I was, I accept myself.
  • Even though I wish my spouse would do things  or say things just the way I do, I accept myself.
  • Even though my spouse is very different than me, and I wish she or he would be just like me, I accept myself.
  • Even though I would be very bored being married to someone just like me, I accept myself.
  • Even though I am now trying to turn my spouse into another person just like me, I accept myself.
  • Even though I am easy to get along with but my spouse is difficult to understand, I accept myself.
  • Even though I will never be able to turn my spouse into another me and that would be boring anyway, I accept myself.
  • Even though some of the characteristics that of my spouse I was most attracted to at the beginning are those that I just can’t stand now, I accept myself.
  • Even though I have a tendency to turn my complaints about behavior into criticism that insinuates a character flaw, I accept myself and I choose to be more careful.
  • Even though I’ve married my exact opposite and now I want someone just like me, I accept myself anyway.
  • Even though I may have unresolved conflicts with one of my parents that I am working through using my spouse as a surrogate, I accept myself.
  • Even though my spouse is possibly just like /is not anything like my mom/my dad, I accept myself anyway.
  • Even though I may still have some issues with my same sex and/or opposite sex parent that I am trying to resolve with my spouse, I accept myself.

Do you have an issue you would like help with? I invite you to send me an issue you have with someone in your life, not necessarily your spouse. I will post some of the most interesting ones here and provide some tapping sentences to work on with EFT. Click on the EFT-in-a-nutshell link if you are unfamiliar with EFT.

Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | May 30, 2013

Making Marriage Work Part 3: Avoid Contempt


According to the authors of “The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work”, sneering, eye rolling, hostile humor, name-calling, belligerence. and mockery are all forms of contempt.  All are to be avoided in a healthy relationship.Here are some sentences to help you if you are guilty of showing contempt to your spouse:
Even though I have the habit of turning my complaints into criticisms, I accept myself.
Even though I have been sarcastic to my spouse recently/many times/several times, I accept myself.
Even though I roll my eyes when my spouse says something I disagree with, I accept myself.
Even though I learned how to treat my spouse by watching my parents interact, I accept myself.
Even though my father/mother was/parents were disrespectful to each other / to me , I accept myself.
Even though I have disrespectful names for my spouse, I accept myself.
Even though I have been belligerent or threatening to my spouse, I accept myself.
Even though I have made many mistakes in my relationship, I accept myself.
Even though I have treated my spouse badly, I accept myself.
Even though I have abused  the person I most depend on and love, I accept myself.
Even though I have shown contempt to my spouse, I accept myself and I forgive myself. I chosse to change my behavior and become a better spouse.
Here are some sentences to help you if your spouse shows contempt to you:
Even though my spouse has the habit of turning complaints into criticisms, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has been sarcastic to me recently/many times/several times, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse rolls her/her eyes when I say something he/she disagrees with, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has learned how to treat me by watching his/her parents interact, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse`s father/mother was/parents were disrespectful to each other /  him/her , I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has disrespectful names for me, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has been belligerent or threatening to me, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has made many mistakes in our relationship, I accept myself and I forgive my spouse.
Even though my spouse has treated me badly, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has abused the person he/she most depends on and loves, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has shown contempt to me, I accept myself. I choose to let my spouse know that I will no longer tolerate this treatment and will remove myself from my spouse`s presence for set amounts of time. I let my spouse know the reason for my removal and the amount of time I will be gone.

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