Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | May 30, 2013

Making Marriage Work Part 3: Avoid Contempt

According to the authors of “The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work”, sneering, eye rolling, hostile humor, name-calling, belligerence. and mockery are all forms of contempt.  All are to be avoided in a healthy relationship.Here are some sentences to help you if you are guilty of showing contempt to your spouse:
Even though I have the habit of turning my complaints into criticisms, I accept myself.
Even though I have been sarcastic to my spouse recently/many times/several times, I accept myself.
Even though I roll my eyes when my spouse says something I disagree with, I accept myself.
Even though I learned how to treat my spouse by watching my parents interact, I accept myself.
Even though my father/mother was/parents were disrespectful to each other / to me , I accept myself.
Even though I have disrespectful names for my spouse, I accept myself.
Even though I have been belligerent or threatening to my spouse, I accept myself.
Even though I have made many mistakes in my relationship, I accept myself.
Even though I have treated my spouse badly, I accept myself.
Even though I have abused  the person I most depend on and love, I accept myself.
Even though I have shown contempt to my spouse, I accept myself and I forgive myself. I chosse to change my behavior and become a better spouse.
Here are some sentences to help you if your spouse shows contempt to you:
Even though my spouse has the habit of turning complaints into criticisms, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has been sarcastic to me recently/many times/several times, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse rolls her/her eyes when I say something he/she disagrees with, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has learned how to treat me by watching his/her parents interact, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse`s father/mother was/parents were disrespectful to each other /  him/her , I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has disrespectful names for me, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has been belligerent or threatening to me, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has made many mistakes in our relationship, I accept myself and I forgive my spouse.
Even though my spouse has treated me badly, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has abused the person he/she most depends on and loves, I accept myself.
Even though my spouse has shown contempt to me, I accept myself. I choose to let my spouse know that I will no longer tolerate this treatment and will remove myself from my spouse`s presence for set amounts of time. I let my spouse know the reason for my removal and the amount of time I will be gone.

Responses

  1. Great wording. 🙂 Arum

  2. Gottman’s book was a good one!
    Great script…


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