Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | June 21, 2012

A Mother Worries about her Adult Son

Recently a client of mine came to me with some concerns about her son. She felt as though he had gotten off track with his life. Among other things, he is a smoker and she feels that this was the first step he took on the wrong road. Also, she feels that she bears some of the guilt for his getting off track. When he was a baby, she had been forced to leave him with a series of less than ideal day homes while she went to school and worked.

For anyone out there who has some guilt over their parenting or some worry for the future, here are some EFT sentences to tap along to and change for your own purposes.

  • Even though I was not a perfect mother, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though I had to leave him with a caregiver at a very important time when I should have been there for him, I accept myself.
  • Even though I am especially angry at  myself for leaving him in that one unsuitable place, I accept myself and I forgive myself. I did the best I could at the time.
  • Even though my poor son probably was hungry during the day because the food I left for him was not an appropriate substitute for breast milk, I accept myself.
  • Even though I feel like I deserted him, I accept myself and I forgive myself. I did the best I could under the circumstances.
  • Even though I had a lot of pressures on me back then, I accept myself.
  • Even though I blame my husband for making me leave him in daycare, I accept myself.
  • Even though my son has a contrary nature, and even though it seems he always does the opposite of what I advise him, I accept myself.
  • Even though my son can’t seem to stop smoking, I accept myself.
  • Even though he wastes money and is always in debt, I accept myself.
  • Even though he drinks too much and I fear his becoming an alcoholic, I accept myself.
  • Even though he  asks me or his Dad to bail him out, I accept myself.

Notice how I focus on the mother’s side of the equation.  Her worries, and her behavior and expectations around her son dis-empower him; they probably make him feel inadequate, even though she never speaks them aloud.

By the end of the session, my client was feeling a bit better about her son’s future and had some confidence that he would eventually find his way. She mentioned that she felt lighter and at peace with how he decided to  run his own life.


Responses

  1. Mildred, this is an excellent post for me personally. Thankyou for posting it! 🙂 Arum

    • Thanks for your comment, Arum. It always surprises me how much overlap there is from one client to the next. Many times we think that we are the only ones with a certain problem or situation, but yet our own problems tend to be common to many others. As a mother that has worked with many other mothers, I know that guilt for how we did certain things haunts every parent. We judge our past selves based on our present wisdom. Perhaps as we grow even wiser, we will forgive our younger selves and allow our own children to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives.

  2. I learned about EFT a few months ago. I believe in EFT. Tapping really works!

    • Thanks for your comment, Ronald. The great thing about EFT is that you don’t really have to believe in it for it to work. I used it without believing in it in the beginning and it still worked,regardless of my skepticism.

  3. Great to see this inspiring way of putting things. I spend a lot of time talking to people about visualising their goals and really seeing what they are working towards and then seeing them achieve that.
    EFT makes such a difference to peoples lives.
    I love how you wrote this, thanks


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