Posted by: Mildred's eftedmonton Blog | January 5, 2010

No childhood memories to feel sad about?

Q: I’m a 40 year old male and I was introduced to EFT a couple of years ago but at that time I guess that I didn’t consider that I had issues ??? I half-heartedly tried a few times with some physical discomforts but gave up rapidly.

I am now awake enough to have many reasons to help myself find the real me, I’ve watched all the basic videos, read the manual and a few other pdf’s. I’ve done a half hour session on anger this morning which left me very tired and I had to stop and rest before I could continue watching Gary’s DVD’s. I’ve also made a whole list of things I want to work on with EFT. My father was an alcoholic and I suspect that my mother had some kind of disorder or mental health issue.

I have this question which I didn’t see answered anywhere : How can I be specific about events if there are almost no emotions attached to the few childhood memories that I have ? I have one with sadness and it is as if I’m a spectator for the other ones. Maybe I’m just very out of touch…

This afternoon, as I was watching Gary tap on Veronica for cigarettes on the case histories tape [dvd] and I automatically started crying when the father rape event came up. I have absolutely no memory of such an event in my life but it got me wondering about my own anxiety, anger and other issues (there are many).

Will using EFT on the symptoms that I have now slowly bring up the core issues or memories that I have to be specific about ?

Thanks in advance for your time.


A: This is a good question, Pierre.

Gary Craig says that even if you have no memory of past trauma, you can actually make up events that might have happened, tap for these events and heal from your actual trauma. He discovered this when he found that the psychologists and practitioners he was teaching to use EFT for clients started reporting that a long standing issue, such as chronic knee pain or some other issue was suddenly gone. The only thing they had been doing differently was tapping along to their clients concerns.

Gary called this Borrowing Benefits. You found something in you that was touched when Veronica’s pain over sexual abuse was brought up. It may not have anything to do with sexual abuse in your own case. It may be simply that you reacted emotionally to her trauma – many people do. If it resonated with you, honor that, but don’t go looking for proof of sexual molestation because this may not have happened.

I suggest that you write down as many different emotions as you can and choose a different one every day. Some emotions , like hurt and anger may have more resonance with you, especially at first. Tap around these emotions like so:

Even though I can’t remember anything from my childhood to feel sad about, I accept myself. Even though I had no pets as a child and I wanted a dog, I accept myself. Even though I must have felt sad when my toy broke or my balloon flew away or I lost my favorite action figure, I accept myself. If you start out like this, making things up, some real events may come to mind for you to tap with. If not, stick with the imagined events and be that child experiencing sadness and tapping around anything you can imagine to be sad about- a death of a pet, the loss of a grandparent or friend moving away, etc. Pick another emotion on another day. Repeat.



  1. As a follow-up to the posting above, You might ask yourself,”What makes me really angry?”
    “What really gets my goat?”
    Did you ever feel this way as a child? did something similar happen to you as a child?

    The answers to what triggers you may point you in the right direction for past events to work on.

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